Family Violence - it's not OK

Below is a small selection from the website to provide an oversight of the information available.

Please click on the link below to see the full site, and always call 111 in an emergency.

Any behaviour that makes someone else feel controlled and fearful is never OK. Everyone in a family or in a relationship should feel safe and nurtured.

A healthy relationship is supportive, trusting and warm. But in some relationships one person uses power and fear to control the other. These relationships are emotionally abusive and can become extremely unsafe.

People in violent relationships feel frightened. They feel as though they cannot be themselves because their actions, thoughts and choices are determined by the person who is controlling them.

Witnessing violence at home makes children feel scared and alone. It can affect the way they behave and lead to problems at school or with their friends. Experiencing violence can physically harm children, make them anxious and fearful and affect the way their brain develops.

No one should be frightened of their partner or someone in their family.

What is family violence?

Family violence is violence or abuse of any type, perpetrated by one family member against another.

Anyone can be affected by family violence, regardless of their age, gender, sexual identity, cultural background, ability, religion, wealth, status or location.

Family violence includes child abuse, partner abuse and elder abuse. Common forms of violence in families/whānau include:

  • spouse/partner abuse (violence among adult partners);
  • child abuse/neglect (abuse/neglect of children by an adult);
  • elder abuse/neglect (abuse/neglect of older people aged approximately 65 years and over, by a person with whom they have a relationship of trust).

The Danger Signs

The danger signs should be taken very seriously.

These are the signs that someone is in danger of being killed by their partner. They are often missed by friends, family and others until it is too late. The signs are either not seen, or dismissed as not serious - yet we know that certain signs mean that a victim is highly likely to be killed by her partner.

We all need to know these danger signs so we can keep people safe.

  • Controlling behaviour
  • Intimidation
  • Threats to kill
  • Strangulation and 'choking'
  • Worsening violence – more severe, more frequent
  • Intense jealousy or possessiveness
  • Stalking