Kaipātiki Parent Pack

Understanding Gender and Supporting your Teen

Gender can be a complex and confusing topic for both teenagers and parents, especially in today’s evolving social climate. Society’s understanding of gender has shifted toward a more inclusive and fluid perspective, and many teenagers are growing up in a world where traditional gender norms are being questioned and redefined. For many young people, these norms feel outdated, and they are increasingly embracing diverse identities and expressions.

As a parent or caregiver, it’s normal to feel uncertain during this time. However, staying open and curious—without judgment—is essential for maintaining a strong, trusting relationship with your teen. Here are some practical ways to support your teen:

1. Listen without judgment – Create a safe space for open conversations.
2. Use their chosen name and pronouns – This small act can mean a great deal.
3. Encourage individual expression – Support their choices in clothing, interests, and identity.
4. Find supportive communities – Connect with others who are navigating similar experiences.
5. Model acceptance – Show respect and inclusivity through your words and actions.
6. Be patient and flexible – Understand that identity can evolve over time.

Understanding Non-Binary Identity

The term non-binary refers to individuals whose gender identity doesn’t fit neatly into the traditional categories of “male” or “female.” A non-binary teen may feel like both, neither, or somewhere in between. Supporting a non-binary teenager means respecting their identity, using their chosen name and pronouns, and allowing them the freedom to express themselves authentically.

Your support plays a critical role in your teen’s well-being. With openness, compassion, and a willingness to learn, you can help create a safe and affirming environment where your teen feels seen and valued.