Kaipātiki Parent Pack
When teenagers start going out on their own
Being safe when out
Allowing your teenager to go out and spend time with friends is a healthy and important part of their development, though it can be a challenging transition for parents. Building trust takes time, and your role in ensuring their safety remains essential throughout. The key is to strike a balance between giving them freedom and maintaining clear, respectful boundaries. Open and honest communication is crucial—talk with your teen about where they’re going, who they’ll be with, how they’ll get home, and what time they’ll return. Set fair expectations around check-ins and curfews and encourage them to trust their instincts if something doesn’t feel right. Remind them to keep their phone charged and accessible and have conversations about handling peer pressure or uncomfortable situations. By staying involved without being overbearing, you support their growing independence while keeping their well-being a top priority and strengthening your relationship along the way.
Parties: Guidance for parents of teens
As teenagers begin to explore their independence and attend parties, open communication and trust between parents and teens become more important than ever. It’s essential to have honest, non-judgmental conversations about safety, peer pressure, alcohol, and consent. Rather than taking a controlling approach, focus on setting clear, reasonable boundaries—and explain the reasoning behind them.
Encourage your teen to contact you if they ever feel unsafe or need support, regardless of the circumstances. When your child knows that your concern is rooted in care for their wellbeing—not just enforcing rules—they’re more likely to make safer choices and feel comfortable reaching out. A relationship grounded in mutual respect and open dialogue will guide them more effectively through this stage of independence than strict discipline alone.
Helpful boundaries for going out
- If drinking is involved, only you or a pre-agreed trusted adult will pick them up from the party.
- They must keep their mobile phone on them and charged so they’re reachable.
- Set a clear, reasonable curfew and stick to it.
- Ask them to check in when they arrive, when they’re leaving, and how they’re getting home (if not with you).
- Ensure they communicate any changes in location and keep you updated.
- Establish an emergency plan, including a code word they can use if they need help discreetly.
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